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Every age has a tendency to take care back at older generations and judge the custom , beliefs and traditions of the time . However , it is fairish to say that there are few point in history that we regard as funnily as we do the Middle Ages .
The Middle Ages have been stump an unlucky sentence to be born and popular consensus is that people were pathetic , intellectual nourishment was dull , everything was dirty , and for the vast majority of it the population was dropping like fly . What we do n’t hear about is that people created some of the most queer , bizarre , hilarious and astounding trends in human history . permit ’s take some time to bosom the knightly period and all of its lovable eccentricity .
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1. Animal court
biography in gothic times could be knotty , and this did n’t just hold to humans . Just like their two - legged owners , all manner of animals from farm animal to insects were put on trial run if suspected of breaking the legal philosophy . There are phonograph recording of at least 85 animate being trials that took billet during the Middle Ages and the tales vary from the tragic to the derisory , as described in the book " The Criminal Prosecution and Capital Punishment of Animals , " by E. P. Evans ( E. P. Dutton and Company , 1906 ) .
By far the most nonparallel offenders werepigs , accused and convicted of chewing off eubstance part and even eat children . Most were found shamed and sentenced to destruction by hanging or being burn at the stakes . In 1386 , a convict pig was fit out in a vest , gloves , drawer and a human mask for its execution .
It was n’t just pig bed that feel the sting of the law , though , In 1474 a judicature found a rooster guilty of the " affected crime " of laying an egg ; unwantedratsoften find themselves on the receiving remnant of a strongly worded missive , asking them to leave the assumption ; and curiously enough , there was a trial of mahimahi in Marseilles in 1596 .
However , not all of the trial ended in viciousness . Onedonkey , which found herself the victim of undesirable sexual progress , was proclaimed innocent after a solid passport from a convent ’s prior , declaring her to be a virtuous and well - behaved animal .
2. Fabulous men’s fashion
apparel were hugely of import to the medieval elite , as it was a way of expose their riches and overall favourable position over the poor . Because of this , various unusual fashion tendency swept through Europe , such as foresightful , pointed shoe for human , as described in the Quran " Encyclopedia of Society and Culture in the Medieval World " ( fact of File , 2008 ) by Pam Crabtree . The longer the shoes were , the bang-up the wealth of the wearer and hence the social rank . Some of the shoes were so long they had to be reinforce with whalebone .
belated 14th century homo were keen to show off their bodies in saucy and let on wear , and would tire dangerously brusk tunics with tights . This trend was adopt by the codpiece — a pouch bond to the front of mankind ’s trouser , shaped and trudge to emphasise their masculinity .
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3. Shotgun weddings
Much of what people acquire about medieval upper - class marriage is true — it was rarely for love , but rather for political and social gain , according to Conor McCarthy ’s book " Marriage in Medieval England " ( The Boydell Press , 2004 ) . And women , as in almost all aspects of medieval liveliness , had no say . In fact , men and women were pass judgment as quick for marriage as soon as their bodies reached pubescence , as new as 12 for girls and 14 for boy .
However , the union ceremony as we know it today was very unlike . For a start there was n’t a formal ceremonial occasion until much later and couples did n’t ask permission to get hitched with . They could do it in a topic of moments by let out consent , which led to marriage in the street , down the taphouse or even in bed . This entail it became rather hard to prove people were actually married , so in the 12th century it was declare a holy sacrament that must be observe by God .
And it was n’t just the wedlock that had to be observed . The consummation , especially among upper - class newlyweds , was far from private . It was n’t strange for the bride to be carried to the bed by her menage . The act of " bedding " was not view as an intimate moment , but rather an act of investment in the union , and one that warrant being observed by witness . Some couples had their blushes spared by the luxury of a bottom curtain , but this was not the case for everyone , and the observers would instead wait around the room for the act to be " dispatch . "
4. Courtly love
As advert , most upper - class medieval marriages were often loveless husks designed purely for financial and social gains . Therefore , in social club to not throw themselves into the nearest bog , medieval nobles fulfilled their romantic desires in " courtly love . "
Undertaken , not surprisingly , by members of the courts , courtly love allowed lords and peeress to drill the chemical element of making love irrespective of their married status , explicate Pamela Porter in her book " Courtly Love in Medieval Manuscripts . " This demand the risqué actions of dancing , giggling and even throw hands . gender , however , was strictly prohibit , and set aside for one ’s spouse only . Courtly love was so democratic , a list of rule was indite up let in : " Marriage is no real exculpation for not loving . "
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5. Divorce by combat
duet in medieval Germany did n’t waste clock time when it came to solve their disputes . Rather than just argue like any normal couple , they make to the ring . Trial by single scrap was a popular way to solve variance , and when humanity and wife were fighting there were gonzo restrictions , for example the husband must support in a hole with a deal behind his back , while his wife ran around with a sack filled with John Rock .
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6. Hairless faces
While today many charwoman spend money to accentuate their eyelashes , it was entirely unlike in the Middle Ages , according to Margaret Schaus ' Holy Scripture " Women and Gender in Medieval Europe an Encyclopedia , " ( Routledge , 2006 ) .
Because the forehead was meet as the central full point of their case , women would off their eyelash and eyebrows so as to accentuate it . Some were so attached , they would pluck theirhairlinesto achieve a utterly ellipse , bald facial expression .
7. A beautiful death
mass in the knightly times were very preoccupied with death , which is perceivable if you consider how pious lodge was at the time and also the fact that many people were hang dupe to the Black Death . As a result , a trend known as " ars moriendi , " or " The art of demise " come into fashion .
The idea revolved around dying a good Christian demise , according to the Holy Scripture by Austra Reinis called " Reforming the artistry of Dying " ( Ashgate , 2007 ) . The death should be design and passive . Just to add further accent when you ’re about to pop your clogs , the dying individual should , likeChrist , accept their destiny without despair , disbelief , impatience , pride or avarice . Dying well was particularly democratic with the priesthood , which led to many of the notorious medieval paintings of Thelonious Monk and holy men bear their fell murders with calm serenity .
8. Soccer without rules
If you think professional sports hooligans were a mod phenomenon , think again — medieval England had sport - relate mob vehemence before the sport were even key out , according to Montague Shearman ’s " Football account " ( Longmans , Green , and Co. , 1901 ) .
What we regard today as association football ( or football game as it ’s known outside the U.S. ) was violent , chaotic and even deadly . It regard an unnumerable act of thespian , could take part across entire village and often it was n’t the ball being give up , but the fight back squad . One convention Scripture for " Shrovetide football game " lean that any substance could be used to score , keep open actual murder . In 1314 , King Edward II decided enough was enough and forbid the game , decreeing , " on pain of imprisonment , such game to be used in the city in future . " Clearly he was more of a golf sports fan .
9. Unicorns and Jesus
If medieval hoi polloi loved two thing it was mythology and religion , and these two often combined in a very peculiar way . Due to a mistranslation of what was likely signify to be an wild ox , people commonly believed that the Bible likenedJesusto a unicorn , harmonize to " Book of beast : The Bestiary in the Medieval World " ( J. Paul Getty Museum , 2019 ) edit by Elizabeth Morrison .
Medieval folk ran with this idea and theunicorn , or whatever they believe to be a unicorn , repeatedly cropped up in religious medieval graphics . As only innocent maidens were allowed to have-to doe with unicorns , the unicorn was also used as a strangely uncomfortable allegory of Christ enter his mother ’s uterus .
10. Jesters
Being a motley fool in the Middle Ages may seem a abominable fate — after all , their hats were modelled after the capitulum of an ass . But jesters were also granted unique privileges , according to Beatrice K. Otto ’s Scripture " Fools Are Everywhere : The Court Jester Around the World " ( University of Chicago Press , 2007 ) .
As everything that came out of their mouths was by royal fiat , to be engage in " jest , " they could get away with slander the Maker and lady of tourist court , and sound their political opinions in a sentence when doing so was strictly proscribed . Being funny wage , even in the chivalric tourist court .
11. Helmeted cocks
If you were a poor soul in the Middle Ages , nutrient , for the most part , was obtuse , boring and repetitious . However , for the rich , nothing was off limit , as explained in Terence Scully ’s book " The Art of Cookery in the Middle Ages " ( BOYE6 , 2005 ) . They enjoy din on swan and , to keep them going through lent , beavertail .
However , they were munch their way through so many animals they were forced to make new and more - gonzo ones . A favorite of the board was the helmeted shaft — organize by stitching a rooster so it seemed to be riding atop a pig .
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12. The Feast of Fools
Many people of medieval Europe joined together at the beginning of January to celebrate the Feast of Fools . This eclectic event , like most Christian festivals , was inspired by a pagan festival — Saturnalia — and turned the condition quo on its head , according to " Sacred foolishness : A New History of the Feast of Fools " ( Cornell University Press , 2011 ) by Max Harris . The highest well-thought-of officials swapped with the low-spirited , serve maids became passe-partout and a mogul of misgovernment was crowned .
Although originally intended to be confined only to the sacred hall of churches , the common the great unwashed took it upon themselves to lionize . There were parades , funny performances , costumes , fussy - dressing , bawdy songs and , of row , drinking to excess .
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Not entirely related to but evenly as hard to comprehend , was the Festival of the Ass , where a young girl carrying a child would cod a Equus asinus into church , and throughout the service the congregation replaced " amen " with a " hee - haw . "
Considering the celebration was take for in crack - stern Christian medieval Europe , it ’s telling it survived for so long . However , over prison term the rule were tightened , certain act nix and the final nail in the coffin of fun came with the Protestant reclamation , which doom all the enjoyable excess .
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