“We now have the family I have been dreaming about my entire life,” Tammy, 41, exclusively tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue.
But getting to this point took alengthy legal battle. Due to Michigan’s surrogacy laws, the couple needed to adopt their own biological children, who were born via a gestational carrier in 2021, even though Tammy and Jordan had been raising the twins since birth and their surrogate (who also serves as their godmother) was completely supportive. Now Tammy and Jordan, 39, hope that sharing their experience will lead to a policy change.
Their journey began with Tammy’sbreast cancerdiagnosis in 2015. Told that her treatment and a partial hysterectomy would prevent her from carrying more children, she worried that she would never be able to give her daughter Corryn siblings and have the big family she and Jordan longed for.
“Doctors told me that the only way that we could grow our family would be to do an emergency egg harvest,” says Tammy, who went through with the process and only began to explore surrogacy options once her cancer was in remission.
The Myers family at their adoption hearing.MLive Media Group
For more on Tammy and Jordan Myers' surrogacy journey, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday, or subscribehere.
Tammy and Jordan had prepared for the surrogacy process with the help of their family law attorney, Melissa Neckers, who explained how Michigan’s 1988 Surrogate Parenting Act says any agreement between parties won’t be recognized in court. She proposed two common workarounds: A “pre-birth order,” requiring a judge’s sign-off, could name Tammy and Jordan as parents before the delivery; or the court could be petitioned to award Jordan paternal rights, although Tammy would still have to adopt as a stepparent, because she wouldn’t be carrying the fetus herself.
“Given that over 80 families have done this exact same thing with no trouble,” Tammy says, “we were more worried about the cost.”
The Myers family.Courtesy Tammy Myers
In a vulnerable Facebook post, Tammy explained that she’d always dreamt of having a big family and was looking for a surrogate. She also addressed the state-required hoops — including how compensated surrogacy was illegal in Michigan — but wrote, “it is 100% legal if you are willing to do so as an incredible blessing and gift.”
Married mom-of-two Lauren Vermilye, then 34, replied within 15 minutes, writing that while she and her husband were “definitely set with our family,” she felt called to assist another. “This is very new to me but if I can help, I would be honored,” Lauren wrote. Her words, says Tammy, “captivated our hearts.”
Tammy Myers with surrogate Lauren Vermilye.Courtesy Tammy Myers
The Myerses met with Lauren and her husband, Jonathan, and drafted an agreement on prenatal care that also defined who would raise the offspring, and in June 2020, two embryos were implanted.
When the twins — son Eames and daughter Ellison — arrived eight weeks early on Jan. 11, 2021, a judge had not yet considered the pre-birth order, which later was denied. “We were just angry,” says Tammy.
In another setback for the couple, a judge wouldn’t approve Jordan’s motion for paternity.
RELATED VIDEO: Mich. Parents Finalize Adoption of Their Biological Children
“I still harbor a lot of resentment for the process itself just because of the fact that for me personally, I’ve already had to go through the process of potentially losing my wife,” Jordan says. “We did everything right. We did everything along the way that we possibly could have done. We jumped through the stupid legal loopholes. If you could bring DNA into this, it’d be open-and-shut.”
The disappointments left the Myerses with no other option but to apply to adopt their children, requiring at-home visits and mental health evaluations.
“It’s infuriating, and to this day just blows me away,” says Jordan.
Jordan and Tammy Myers with Ellison and Eames.Tammy Myers
But on Dec. 8, 2022, the couple was legally recognized as the twins' parents during an emotional court hearing. Now on the other side of their legal battle, both Tammy and Jordan agree that they have no regrets and would do it all again if they’d still get Eames and Ellison.
“We’ve had some time now and we’ve talked about it, and it’s still mind-blowing to think that we actually had to adopt our own children,” Tammy says. “It just seems like a movie, not our real life. As long as positive change comes from this, I won’t have all that frustration of, ‘why us?’ "
In their next chapter, Tammy and Jordan are turning their pain into purpose, working to make sure that no one else in Michigan ever has to face the same legal battle that they faced again. To that end, Michigan state Sen. Winnie has cosponsored a package of bills allowing for legal contracts between surrogates and intended parents. Safeguards for each party are built in.
The Myers family (from left): Corryn, Eames, Tammy, Jordan and Ellison.Tammy and Jordan Myers
“So many things are different now in terms of how we think about how we build families,” says Brinks. “It’s simply unnecessary to have this be so difficult.”
As their mission gains momentum, “We can’t help but feel like we were supposed to go through all of this, because we are going to be able to raise some awareness and to be able to change this law,” Tammy says. “For us, I think that will be the closure.”
“I 100 percent would do every bit of this again,” she adds. “And I don’t think I’d change a thing, honestly.”
source: people.com
